Romance scams: when an online connection turns into a request for money

A romance scam is financial fraud dressed up as a relationship. Someone creates a fake identity, spends weeks or months building what feels like a real connection, and then asks for money or steers the person into a fake investment. Scamwatch describes scammers who build trust and then ask for money for illness, injury, travel, a family emergency or a deal that needs funding.

The people targeted are not foolish. Romance scammers are patient and practised, and the relationship can feel completely genuine. This guide explains how these scams are built, the warning signs, practical ways to check whether someone is who they say they are, and where to get help. It covers romance scams as a financial crime only.

How it works

Scamwatch’s romance scam alerts (2022 to 2024) describe a common pattern. Seeing it laid out stage by stage makes it easier to recognise from the inside.

1. A believable profile. Scammers create fake profiles on dating apps, websites and social media, often with photos taken from someone else. Scamwatch says they commonly claim to live overseas or interstate, and to work in roles such as the military, the United Nations, medicine or on an oil rig. These stories explain why they can’t meet.
2. Fast, intense attention. Scamwatch describes “love bombing”: declaring strong feelings very quickly and messaging constantly. A sympathetic backstory, such as being widowed or divorced, is common.
3. Moving off the platform. The scammer pushes to switch to phone, email or a messaging app. Scamwatch explains this keeps the conversation away from law enforcement and stops the dating platform from spotting and deleting the fake profile.
4. Excuses not to meet or video call. Bad connections, broken cameras, work security rules. Plans to meet keep falling through.
5. The first request. Once trust is built, a crisis appears. Scamwatch lists illness, injury, travel costs, a family crisis, a deal or contract that needs money to finalise, or being detained overseas.
6. Escalation. Scamwatch says scammers may become desperate or pressuring if money isn’t sent, and keep asking for more if it is.

Romance baiting: when romance becomes an investment scam

Scamwatch describes a variation called romance baiting. Instead of asking for money directly, the scammer mentions they’ve been making easy money from investing, often cryptocurrency, and offers to show how. A small first investment appears to make a quick profit. Then the pressure grows to add more, sometimes with a claim that the account will be frozen unless it’s topped up. When the person tries to withdraw, Scamwatch says they may be asked to pay more, or the scammer disappears. See investment scams.

Being asked to move money for them

The Australian Federal Police says romance scams are one way people are drawn into acting as “money mules”. Scammers “build a relationship online and then request the victim to transfer money” through their own bank account. The AFP says money laundering is a serious criminal offence. See job scams for more on money mules.

A fictional example

This example is fictional. Names and the website are invented.

Daniel, 58, matches with “Elena” on a dating app. Her photos are warm and natural, and she seems genuinely interested in his garden and his old motorbike. Within a week she says she’s never connected with anyone like this, and asks to move to a private messaging app “because the dating app is glitchy”.

Elena says she’s a civil engineer on a project overseas. Every time they try to video call, the connection drops, so they talk by text and the occasional crackly voice call. She messages every morning and every night.

After two months, Elena mentions she’s been trading cryptocurrency on a platform called coinharbour-trade.example with help from her uncle, and that it’s how she’s saving for a house “for us”. She offers to guide Daniel. He deposits $500, and within a fortnight his account shows $1,400.

Elena says a special opportunity is closing soon. Daniel moves $30,000 from his savings. When he asks to withdraw, the platform says he must first pay a “tax clearance” of $6,000. Elena is hurt when he hesitates: “I thought you trusted me.”

Daniel mentions it to his sister, who suggests running Elena’s photos through a reverse image search. They appear on the social media account of a woman in another country, under a different name.

What gave it away: fast declarations of feelings, an immediate move off the app, no working video calls, a cryptocurrency “opportunity”, a fee to withdraw, and emotional pressure when he hesitated.

Warning signs of a romance scam

• Someone you don’t know makes contact through a dating app, website or social media.
• They express strong feelings very quickly and message constantly.
• There’s always a reason they can’t meet in person or video call.
• They want to move the conversation off the platform quickly.
• They describe a job or situation that keeps them overseas or out of reach.
• They ask for money, gifts, financial details or identity documents, often for an emergency.
• They bring up investing or “easy money”, especially cryptocurrency.
• They become upset, guilt-tripping or pressuring when you hesitate.
• They ask you to receive money and send it on for them.

For red flags that apply to any contact, see the quick scam red-flag checklist.

How to check if it’s real

These checks are based on Scamwatch’s romance scam alerts (2022 to 2024) and its guidance on helping someone being scammed (checked October 2026).

1. Search their photos. Scamwatch’s page on helping someone who’s being scammed suggests running reverse image searches on photos the contact sent, and its 2022 alert suggests searching the internet for the person’s photo. Most major search engines let you search with an image: you upload the picture, and the results show where else it appears online. Photos that show up under a different name are a strong warning sign.
2. Search their name and phrases. Scamwatch suggests searching the person’s name, and phrases they’ve used, to see whether they appear in reports of known scams. This can reveal profiles or messages copied from elsewhere.
3. Ask for a live video call. Scamwatch lists constant excuses for not video calling as a warning sign. A person who always has a reason not to is worth questioning. AI tools can also imitate faces and voices; see whether a deepfake can be spotted.
4. Check any investment they suggest. If an online contact introduces a platform, look the business up on ASIC’s Professional Registers and Moneysmart’s Investor Alert List. Our investment scams guide explains how. Scamwatch’s 2024 alert says not to “act on investment advice from someone you have only met online”.
5. Talk it through with someone you trust. Scamwatch’s Stop. Check. Protect. approach includes asking for a second opinion. A friend can often spot a pattern that’s hard to see from inside a relationship.

Scamwatch’s simplest test is its own rule: “Never send money or give personal or financial information to someone you’ve only met online.”

Common questions

How can I tell if someone I met online is a scammer?

Scamwatch describes warning signs such as strong feelings expressed very quickly, a push to move off the dating platform, constant excuses not to meet or video call, a job that keeps them overseas, and requests for money or talk of investing. It also suggests reverse image searches on their photos. Its simplest rule: “Never send money or give personal or financial information to someone you’ve only met online.” See Warning signs of a romance scam.

Could it still be a scam if we’ve talked every day for months?

Yes. Scamwatch describes scammers building trust over weeks or months before money is mentioned, and “love bombing” with constant messages. Its 2023 alert also lists sending gifts among the behaviours romance scammers use to build trust. The length of the relationship doesn’t change the checks official sources describe, such as searching their photos and asking for a live video call. See How it works.

What is romance baiting?

Romance baiting is a variation Scamwatch describes where, instead of asking for money directly, the scammer mentions making easy money from investing, often cryptocurrency, and offers to show how. A small first investment appears to profit, then pressure grows to add more. Scamwatch’s 2024 alert says not to “act on investment advice from someone you have only met online”. See Romance baiting.

How do I check if a dating profile is fake?

Scamwatch suggests running reverse image searches on photos the contact sent, and searching their name and phrases they’ve used to see whether they appear in reports of known scams. Photos that show up under a different name are a strong warning sign. Scamwatch also lists constant excuses for not video calling as a warning sign. See How to check if it’s real.

How do I help a family member who is in a romance scam?

Scamwatch’s page on helping someone describes watching for signs, gathering evidence gently, such as a reverse image search, and leaving it with them so they feel in control. It says people often feel “embarrassed or afraid”, and suggests speaking from concern rather than lecturing. It describes acting urgently if large sums are being transferred or identity documents shared. See If you’re worried about someone else.

What do I do if I’ve sent money to a romance scammer?

Scamwatch says to contact your bank or card provider immediately and ask it to stop transactions, and to stop sending money. It points to IDCARE on 1800 595 160 for a free plan to limit the damage, and to reporting at scamwatch.gov.au and through cyber.gov.au. Scamwatch also says “the sooner you act, the better”, and warns about anyone offering to get your money back. See If it’s already happened.

If you’re worried about someone else

Scamwatch has a page on helping someone who’s being scammed. It describes:

• Watching for signs, such as a new online contact they haven’t met, requests for money or images, talk of investments, and changes in mood.
• Gathering evidence gently, for example with reverse image searches or checking a company with ASIC, and leaving it with them so they feel in control.
• Avoiding blame. Scamwatch says people often feel “embarrassed or afraid”, and suggests speaking from concern (“I’m worried about you”) rather than lecturing.
• Acting urgently if large sums are being transferred, they’re planning to travel to meet the person, they’re sharing identity documents or passwords, or they’re taking out loans or accessing retirement funds.

Scamwatch’s 2023 alert also suggests a calm conversation with gentle questions, such as why the person hasn’t been able to video chat or meet.

If it’s already happened

Scamwatch’s steps (checked October 2026):

1. Act fast. Contact your bank or card provider immediately to report the scam and ask them to stop transactions. Stop sending money.
2. Get help to recover. Contact IDCARE on 1800 595 160 for a free plan to limit the damage, especially if you shared identity documents (see what official sources describe after identity theft). If you’re unhappy with your bank’s response, you can complain to AFCA.
3. Report and warn others. Report to Scamwatch, and make a police report online through cyber.gov.au. Scamwatch’s romance alerts also mention telling the platform where you met the person.
4. Watch for follow-up scams. Be wary of anyone offering to help you get your money back. See money recovery scams.
5. Get support. Free financial counsellors can help with scam-related debt.

Scamwatch’s helping-someone page also mentions stopping contact, blocking the scammer, and considering a change of email address and phone number. Scamwatch’s 2023 alert warns against sharing personal photos or videos, as scammers can use them for blackmail (see sextortion and other threat scams); the eSafety Commissioner and police can help if that happens.

Where to report

• Scamwatch at scamwatch.gov.au.
• ReportCyber at cyber.gov.au for police reports, especially where money was lost.
• The dating app or platform where you met.

See where to report scams and cybercrime in Australia and first steps after a scam.

Support if you’re distressed

Losing money is only part of the harm. Losing a relationship that felt real can be just as painful, and many people feel shame. Scamwatch points to:

• Lifeline on 13 11 14, available 24/7.
• Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636.